This haitus has seen me quite busy and broke - I've 21st birthday parties to attend every weekend in January (luckily that's died down), and besides that, how can I forget the much lamented school. Thinking back, I realised there were a lot of things I should have tried to do although I wasn't ensured of a favourable outcome. Seeing how most of my friends are going on exchange really makes me so darn envious and quite angry with myself for not even trying. I mean, I wasn't guaranteed a place even if I had applied, but at least I would have tried. Quite laugable, actually, to always start regretting when you know there's no way to turn back time and try again. I guess I'm never going to stop this cycle of wanting something so marginally badly and yet backing out at the last instance by making lame excuses to myself - I've no money, it's too much of a hassle, my results aren't good enough, I can't bear to leave the darling behind for a semester etc. At the end of it, I just don't have the courage to venture beyond my comfort zone, do I?

No point dwelling on all that now, since application's closed. You might ask, I can always try when the next application comes along, but it'll be too late by then - I don't satisfy the criteria if I'm graduating in two more sems. Which I guess is part of the reason I want to at least go Japan for homestay. Of course, it's not even marginally equivalent to SEP, but at least it's better than nothing. If not, I can always go on summer prog as well. But the homestay appeals more to me.

This haitus has seen me quite busy and broke - I've 21st birthday parties to attend every weekend in January (luckily that's died down), and besides that, how can I forget the much lamented school. Thinking back, I realised there were a lot of things I should have tried to do although I wasn't ensured of a favourable outcome. Seeing how most of my friends are going on exchange really makes me so darn envious and quite angry with myself for not even trying. I mean, I wasn't guaranteed a place even if I had applied, but at least I would have tried. Quite laugable, actually, to always start regretting when you know there's no way to turn back time and try again. I guess I'm never going to stop this cycle of wanting something so marginally badly and yet backing out at the last instance by making lame excuses to myself - I've no money, it's too much of a hassle, my results aren't good enough, I can't bear to leave the darling behind for a semester etc. At the end of it, I just don't have the courage to venture beyond my comfort zone, do I?

No point dwelling on all that now, since application's closed. You might ask, I can always try when the next application comes along, but it'll be too late by then - I don't satisfy the criteria if I'm graduating in two more sems. Which I guess is part of the reason I want to at least go Japan for homestay. Of course, it's not even marginally equivalent to SEP, but at least it's better than nothing. If not, I can always go on summer prog as well. But the homestay appeals more to me.