And, the sense of uncertainty strikes again.

Shouldn't we stick to our decisions once we've made up our minds? I hate the indecisive me. I hate myself for being so weak, and always having second thoughts and doubting myself even after I've decided on something. It's the same problem that has been plaguing me since a year ago. And till now, it's still bothering me. I can't block it out of my mind simply because I'm being reminded of it day after day. I just want to throw it to the back of my mind and hope it stays there, but of course, it's wishful and futile thinking on my part.

Things around me are making me so tired. I'm mentally drained. This midterm break isn't a break at all - not with the amount of work beckoning me. I know I'm running out of time, but I simply can't find the mental strength and will to confront my personal demons. I really wonder what will become of me? Right now I'm just a shell going about her daily stuff like a robot, since they have become so ingrained. Wake up, have breakfast, go for tuition, come home, have dinner, sleep. And so the routine repeats itself, day after day.

I need time for myself! -screams.

And please, spare me from all the drudgeries.

Just six weeks into the start of school, and I already feel smothered - too much readings and tutorials to do; so many projects cum term paper to start work on. Maybe I've suddenly become more hardworking, because I don't remember myself being so busy the previous semesters. Anyway, this coming midterm break is something that I'm looking forward to. I need a breather so badly that I simply can't wait for it to arrive.

I'm going to work very hard this sem. No more dilly-dallying and fooling around.

It's all so quiet and peaceful and you're left with only your thoughts and nothing else.

Sometimes I feel so happy that everything just takes on this rosy tint.

And sometimes I can be so unhappy and dissatisfied that I'm looking through a blue or gray haze at everything.

We really should just take time out from our busy schedules to appreciate the little things in life.

Albeit small, but sweet little things nonetheless.

And I always count my blessings because I met you.

You make my tears go away; you put smiles on my face.

You just make my life perfect.

Thank you so, so much.

Shall not elaborate here (not that it's a secret or anything but I don't really want to think about it right now) and it made me undecided yet again. Feeling a little unsettled as well, and this uncomfortable feeling was reinforced when I was in the library during my break today trying to finish some tutorial. Why can't I stand by my own decision once I've made up my mind? Why must I be so fickle, and easily affected by what other people tell me? Why am I doing things that I don't like and yet there's no way of backing out of at this point in time even if I want to?

Econs sucks.

Sighs.

And I apologise for this seemingly incoherent entry. Don't try to decipher it though.

And, the sense of uncertainty strikes again.

Shouldn't we stick to our decisions once we've made up our minds? I hate the indecisive me. I hate myself for being so weak, and always having second thoughts and doubting myself even after I've decided on something. It's the same problem that has been plaguing me since a year ago. And till now, it's still bothering me. I can't block it out of my mind simply because I'm being reminded of it day after day. I just want to throw it to the back of my mind and hope it stays there, but of course, it's wishful and futile thinking on my part.

Things around me are making me so tired. I'm mentally drained. This midterm break isn't a break at all - not with the amount of work beckoning me. I know I'm running out of time, but I simply can't find the mental strength and will to confront my personal demons. I really wonder what will become of me? Right now I'm just a shell going about her daily stuff like a robot, since they have become so ingrained. Wake up, have breakfast, go for tuition, come home, have dinner, sleep. And so the routine repeats itself, day after day.

I need time for myself! -screams.

And please, spare me from all the drudgeries.

Just six weeks into the start of school, and I already feel smothered - too much readings and tutorials to do; so many projects cum term paper to start work on. Maybe I've suddenly become more hardworking, because I don't remember myself being so busy the previous semesters. Anyway, this coming midterm break is something that I'm looking forward to. I need a breather so badly that I simply can't wait for it to arrive.

I'm going to work very hard this sem. No more dilly-dallying and fooling around.

It's all so quiet and peaceful and you're left with only your thoughts and nothing else.

Sometimes I feel so happy that everything just takes on this rosy tint.

And sometimes I can be so unhappy and dissatisfied that I'm looking through a blue or gray haze at everything.

We really should just take time out from our busy schedules to appreciate the little things in life.

Albeit small, but sweet little things nonetheless.

And I always count my blessings because I met you.

You make my tears go away; you put smiles on my face.

You just make my life perfect.

Thank you so, so much.

Shall not elaborate here (not that it's a secret or anything but I don't really want to think about it right now) and it made me undecided yet again. Feeling a little unsettled as well, and this uncomfortable feeling was reinforced when I was in the library during my break today trying to finish some tutorial. Why can't I stand by my own decision once I've made up my mind? Why must I be so fickle, and easily affected by what other people tell me? Why am I doing things that I don't like and yet there's no way of backing out of at this point in time even if I want to?

Econs sucks.

Sighs.

And I apologise for this seemingly incoherent entry. Don't try to decipher it though.