And, the sense of uncertainty strikes again.
Shouldn't we stick to our decisions once we've made up our minds? I hate the indecisive me. I hate myself for being so weak, and always having second thoughts and doubting myself even after I've decided on something. It's the same problem that has been plaguing me since a year ago. And till now, it's still bothering me. I can't block it out of my mind simply because I'm being reminded of it day after day. I just want to throw it to the back of my mind and hope it stays there, but of course, it's wishful and futile thinking on my part.
Things around me are making me so tired. I'm mentally drained. This midterm break isn't a break at all - not with the amount of work beckoning me. I know I'm running out of time, but I simply can't find the mental strength and will to confront my personal demons. I really wonder what will become of me? Right now I'm just a shell going about her daily stuff like a robot, since they have become so ingrained. Wake up, have breakfast, go for tuition, come home, have dinner, sleep. And so the routine repeats itself, day after day.
I need time for myself! -screams.
And please, spare me from all the drudgeries.
Urgh.